Setting Goals for 4 Year Old With New Baby at Home
Inside: Find parenting goals that are perfect for your individual family AND 8 of the all-time parenting goals that volition brand your life easier.
As we head into any new year's day, it's the perfect time to start reflecting.
What worked for me final yr? How can I do things meliorate? What do I resolve to change?
And as adults, we usually focus on weight loss goals or promises to exercise more, or desires to quit a bad habit.
Rarely do nosotros focus on improving our parenting skills.
In the hustle and bustle of everyday parenting craziness like making school lunches and dealing with the piles of laundry and constantly hunting for our kids' shoes (why, oh, why can we never find them?), we ordinarily don't tiresome downward and evaluate how we're doing as parents.
Simply if we take the time to figure out what nosotros're doing right and how we tin practice improve in the areas that we're –ahem– less than stellar in, we can be improve parents.
And when nosotros're meliorate parents, our families grow stronger and our kids feel more connected to united states and all our daily parenting challenges volition feel a little easier.
But how do we do information technology?
How practise we focus on improving our parenting skills?
We can start past setting parenting goals for ourselves.
Why should we set parenting goals?
No ane has an infant i 24-hour interval and is automatically a dandy parent.
We acquire as nosotros go.
We read keen parenting books
And we draw from our own childhood experiences and try to effigy out what we will and will not do with our own kids.
Simply if we decide to constantly improve and adapt and tweak how we deed and reply to our children, our parenting skills volition strengthen.
And nosotros volition become meliorate parents.
Which in turn volition brand it so we don't feel like this parenting gig is so darn difficult all the time.
Because here's the bargain. Parenting isn't easy. And it's not supposed to be easy.
With that existence said, it is besides true that parenting tin can become easier.
When we set parenting goals-things we desire to improve on to up our parenting skills- it will brand u.s. better parents.
And when we feel like better parents, parenting will get easier.
Nosotros'll spend more quality time with our kids and less time being frustrated or feeling out of control or second-guessing ourselves.
And we'll be able to look back and confidently know we did our absolute best job for our children.
How to Prepare Parenting Goals
Everyone's parenting skill level is very different.
So to determine what your parenting goals could exist (notice I didn't say "should" exist), you first need to take moment and evaluate what yous want to ameliorate on.
Or what you desire to change about your parenting skills.
Or enquire yourself, what feels the hardest when it comes to parenting?
Do you feel similar yous:
- Yell too much?
- Can't get your kids to listen?
- Wish your kids would fight or squabble less?
- Have no patience left?
- Wish they were less screen time in your home?
- Never have any time to connect with your kids?
- Never have whatever time for yourself to recharge?
- Experience like you're constantly cleaning up later other people?
Once you know what you desire to prepare, improve, or change, yous can set your own parenting goals, specific to what you demand to make your life equally a parent better.
Parenting Goal Ideas
So not all of these parenting goals will be for you. Some things on this listing you'll scoff at considering they come hands for you.
Simply in that location volition be several on hither you lot can relate to and might want to meliorate on.
Because let's face up it. No parent is perfect.
So we can all amend on many, if not all, of these parenting goals.
1. Connect more as a family
Many parents want to connect more with their kids, really get to know them, and prioritize more than quality fourth dimension. Because when we take the fourth dimension truly know who are kids are, and what they think and dream and wish for, we get a little window into their tiny little souls. And it's magical.
If that'due south you, attempt this:
- Protect family dinner time and inquire anybody nigh the best and worst part of their solar day.
- Plan a family unit staycation or getaway y'all tin can all wait forward to.
- Plan 1-on-i "dates" with your kids.
- Start a tuck-in ritual with your kids, even if they're older (especially if they're older).
ii. Yell less
Many, many parents-me included- let our angry triggers to affect us and nosotros end up yelling at our kids. No matter how aroused or frustrated we become, we can parent with less yelling.
If you want to yell less, effort this:
- Figure out your anger triggers and avert them.
- Get at-home before yous react. These 50 Calm Downwardly Cards can help.
- Take a time out when you feel anger start to rise.
- Recognize your hard times of solar day and try to find ways to brand them easier.
Desire more ideas on how to yell less? Join our Anger Challenge Workshop
3. Focus more on your family values
A lot of families forget to act in kind and respectful means because when we focus on the everyday nitty-gritty of chores and getting to practise on time and finding kids shoes, we experience like in that location's no time left for anything else.
If you desire to focus more on encouraging your kids to be more than respectful or kinder to you and to their siblings attempt this:
- Brand being kind 1 of your family rules
- Talk about being kind with these sixty kindness discussion starters
- Model the behaviors you want your kids to follow
- Read books together that showcase the values you want to instill LINK
4. Become more than consistent with rules and consequences
One of the biggest frustrations for parents is when our kids don't follow our rules. It's often because our rules aren't clear and the consequences aren't equally consistent every bit they could be. Or they're just testing you lot because it's their task to exam the limits. It's our job to hold business firm and be consistent with our rules.
If you want your kids to follow your family unit rules more often, try this:
- Decide on your family unit rules
- Talk about the rules often with your kids then they know what to expect
- Decide what the consequences are for not following the rules and explicate them to your kids ahead of time
- Follow through on the consequences consistently
5. Get your kids to listen to you more often
Information technology tin can exist and then frustrating and irritating when our kids don't listen to us. And so we tend to yell because nosotros're frustrated and irritated. (Run across goal number 2 again).
If you lot want your kids to heed to you, try this:
- Make "first time" listening one your family rules.
- Offering positive reinforcement when they practice listen like these hole charts that encourage kids to desire to listen,
- Tell them what you want them to do rather than what you don't desire them to do (Say: "please walk" rather than "don't run" or "keep your hands to yourself" rather than "no hit").
- Be super clear most what yous want them to do.
6. Recharge and focus on cocky-care without mom guilt
We can't take intendance of our families unless we are well…both physically and mentally. So taking care of ourselves helps u.s. accept care of our families better. With that noesis, take the fourth dimension to recharge and fill yourself up, guilt-gratuitous. Because when you're at your best, yous volition be the best parent for your kids.
If you desire to focus on cocky-care without guilt, attempt this:
- Requite yourself permission to practice what you lot demand to do to stay mentally healthy.
- Brand a list of things that would fill y'all upwardly, and so do them.
- If you can't "get abroad" make a "happy playlist" y'all can listen to that volition improve your mood fifty-fifty when you experience stuck or are stuck.
- Remind yourself oftentimes, "I am enough" and "I am doing enough."
7. Instill more responsibility in your kids and do less for them
No matter how old your kids are, you're probably cleaning up after them manner more than they need you to be. When nosotros teach kids how to be independent from united states of america, we give them the necessary life skills they will need as they go older to be self-sufficient. Doing besides much for our kids can actually be a disservice to them when they're older.
If y'all want to teach your kids how to be more responsible try this:
- Give each child an age-advisable task every solar day.
- When request young kids to clean upwardly, be specific and break up the task (put away all the books or clean up all the toy cars).
- Teach kids larger tasks in a easily-on way similar making school lunches, doing the laundry, and helping with the dishes.
- When they do a chore, unless someone is going to go hurt, leave it how they did information technology, fifty-fifty if it's not perfect or "your way."
8. Have less screen fourth dimension in your house
Screens are convenient, helpful, and fun. And while there are definite advantages to them and moments where we can rely on them, science has shown us time and time again that our kids' generation (and their parents) are becoming chop-chop addicted.
If you desire to limit screen time, try this:
- Get an app that sets screen time limits and use it. (we employ one called Family Link, I hear Our Pact is good besides)
- Brand a family unit rule for screens that makes sense to your family (Attempt: no screens on the weekdays unless it's for school).
- Have more books, games, and projects around for your kids to relish.
- When kids mutter they're bored, offering up more chores to proceed them busy… They'll find something fun to do quickly.
Is this parenting goals listing exhaustive? Nope.
Will y'all be able to do all the things all the time on this list? Nope.
Is this listing meant to make you experience guilty or that y'all're not doing enough? Definitely nope.
Merely if you've gotten this far, you lot know that no affair how awesome or unawesome we feel most our parenting, when nosotros have a growth mindset as parents and know we can always go better, we're doing the next best thing.
And then no affair what you choose to improve on or what your parenting goals are, the mere human action of pausing to reflect on your parenting and wanting to improve proves you're already an incredible parent.
Because when we take the fourth dimension to improve as parents, our home, our family, and our kids will be better for it.
And so will we.
Now nosotros just need to figure out how to find their shoes.
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Source: https://messymotherhood.com/parenting-goals/
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